Attempting to find yourself, to discover your identity through work, relationships, peer acceptance, or success (or failure) is fairly hopeless.
You may find an agreeable temporary self for a while, one that seems to make you happy or get you by, even help you feel like you’re “making it,” but it won’t sustain you nor will it give you what you ultimately desire.
We don’t talk enough about being whole people. We will discuss at length what it means to be a leader, or successful, or more fit, or more likable. But a deeper need is for wholeness to be highest on our priority list. If a glass is cracked at the base, it doesn’t matter how full it is. Eventually it will leak and you’ll always be needing to add more.
I’m only 27, but I’ve experienced enough to know what brings true wholeness and what does not. I’ve tried the leadership, the success, the fitness, the people-pleasing likability ad nauseam. Trust me, it will wear you out and wear you down. What has sealed the crack in my base, plugged up the leaks? Purely and simply, a relationship with Jesus. Only in that relationship have I been able to rest secure in who I am, minus all the activity and external clamoring for my attention and priority. Only there have I been able to not worry about the implications of making a decision that’s based on my convictions, based on eternal truths that don’t change with the time or the circumstance, or based on the knowledge that it’s okay if I’m not right because I’m taken care of by God.
It’s a deep yet simple hope that what Jesus has already done in defeating the evil in me and healing the crack in my foundation will continue to be revealed in my life as I trust in Him. It helps me be present when I want to let my mind race. It allows me to love and serve even if it’s not reciprocated, or worse yet when it’s shoved in my face. It frees me to relax and not feel the pressing need to conform to those around me in order to be okay.
Without this, by letting the crack at the bottom of the glass go unfixed, you’ll always be refilling, over and over again, without ever feeling real satisfaction in knowing you are whole. Start with becoming whole. Only there will you be able to find and become your true self.