I like to get something out of whatever I’m doing. Don’t you?
Even if I’m not conscious of it, I’m more often than I’d like somewhere internally asking, “What’s in it for me?”
I mean, it can even show up when I’m thinking about spending time with friends. If I hang out with this person or if my wife and I hang out with this couple, what’s in it for me or us? What is the benefit of doing it?
After spending time with people, though, I don’t normally actually engage in the task of evaluating the time trying to figure out what good came of it. But, I kind of review in my head what all went down, and what I thought of it, how I felt about it, etc.
So I guess I kind of do. Ugh. Sorry, friends.
Maybe some of this is good. But the best times of being with friends never come with a “what’s in it for me” mood. I don’t care what we do, where we go, what happens, just as long as I’m or we are with that person/people. Do you know what I mean?
With God it’s really not any different. Or shouldn’t be. Except maybe I’m a little more conscious of my desire to “get something out of it.” Which sounds actually quite insulting. Evaluating my time with God, who graciously comes to me in Jesus, through the Holy Spirit, and chooses to spend time with little me, seems nearly absurd. Who am I to do that?
If Jesus calls me His friend, and I consider myself the same, wouldn’t I then just want to spend time with Him, doing whatever, not conscious of what I could “get out of it?”
I already get to be His friend. Shouldn’t that be enough? Of course, I’d like to say it is, but I can’t do that honestly.
It seems that I focus more on learning a lot of info and gaining knowledge about God (getting something from Him) in order to show someone else, anyone else that it’s worth it, to show off, to puff myself up.
But no one really cares what I know about God. No one really cares what you know about anyone.
It’s much more of a thing when you really, actually know someone, rather than know about them. I don’t just know about my wife. I actually know her, deeply, from spending hours and hours with her, without trying to figure out what’s in it for me. Just simply getting to be with her, doing anything or nothing, is worth it. That sets me apart from all other people who just know about her. (It’s only one way, of course, because she’s my wife, and many other things set me apart from others because of that. But hopefully you get my point.)
Being a friend of God, knowing Him and being known by Him, can set us all apart from being people who just know about God.
If I’m honest, I would much rather have a very deep knowing of God, a strong and deep knowing friendship with Him, than have a PhD in God information.