Consistent: (of a person, behavior, or process) unchanging in achievement or effect over a period of time; compatible or in agreement with something; (of an argument or set of ideas) not containing any logical contradictions.
Although I am not an argument or set of ideas, the way I live my life is. The way I live my life is either for or against what I believe. And I don’t know about you, but man I want to be consistent.
Think about it. If you were to really examine your life, how many logical contradictions do you live with every day?
You believe one thing, desire one thing, hope for one thing, but do something or say something completely contradictory. At least I do. I shouldn’t speak for you.
I run around, saying yes to everyone when I want to be someone with good, healthy boundaries.
I’m irritable and get frustrated easily, especially with myself, and I desire to be someone who is calm, wise, and peaceful.
I compare myself to other people, when I hope to be someone who is confident and comfortable in my identity.
The list goes on.
I’m learning something in the midst of this, though,
I used to think that it was a terrible, immature thing to be where I am, to live in contradiction.
But I’m starting to see something that the Bible has said for centuries.
We live in the tension of the now and the not yet.
We can experience more of who we were created to be now, but the fullness of life, the disappearance of contradiction and division within ourselves won’t go away until God restores everything.
More and more, I think I can relate to Paul when he groans in Romans 7:
I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. (Romans 7:15-18)
It’s weird that we contradict ourselves daily. You do it. I do it. Christian and non-Christian, it doesn’t matter.
But, there is hope.
More than my frustration with myself and my desire to change is God’s grace and love for me. And for you.
He doesn’t hold against me the fact that I can’t seem to be consistent. He’s not surprised by my lack of doing right and good. He even sees the contradictions and the ugliness inside that no one else sees.
And He still says, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Cor. 12:9)
So, it’s okay. It may not be okay to us to be in contradiction all the time, but it’s okay to God. So we press on. We keep moving toward the consistent God. He knows our hearts, and is ever at work changing and wooing us to Himself, to be more like Him. Steady. Unmoving. Consistent.
Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord! (Romans 7:25)