Not everything in your life is going to seem grey.
But that doesn’t mean those non-grey things will be easy, either. It’s really not one or the other most of the time. We can often have some grey in our lives, but still things seem to go along pretty simply and easily. Or, the grey fog is there and we can’t seem to understand or do anything without difficulty, tension, and a sense of anxiety.
Having grey skies or blue skies in your life really isn’t the issue. Deciding whether or not you’ll believe, whether or not you’ll still press on and persevere is really what holds weight.
I’m realizing this much more strongly now that I’ve been in literal blue skies for a few days.
Although the skies are blue here and the sun is bright, the things I wrestle with internally don’t necessarily seem easier. However, I believe there has been a change, in my heart at least. And I believe it is due to my submission to follow a prompting in my heart from God to retreat from my ordinary, literal grey, to a place with literal blue.
I’ve come on a personal retreat from Columbus, Ohio to Oak Island, North Carolina.
To the ocean. The big blue.
This is one of my favorite places in the whole world (out of the few places I’ve actually been, this isn’t as big of a claim as it sounds).
By leaving my ordinary and venturing out based on a strong desire in my heart, and a belief that I am either obeying the Lord or just simply doing something I want to do, or even because I physically needed it, I have felt something shift.
The grey hasn’t exactly gone away. There is still some fog.
But, the difference is there is much less fear invading my thoughts.
And because there is less fear there is less grey, and therefore more blue.
It’s a bit ironic, being that I’m in the Cape Fear region of North Carolina and I’m not exactly fearful.
More of a peace has come over me, not a fear. A peace because God really is with me. Not due to the fact that I’m here and not at home, but because I’ve simply become more aware now that I’m by myself.
I’m not alone, though. It’s a strange feeling to be by yourself, yet not exactly alone.
I wrote before that sometimes perception trumps clarity. I wrote that more out of a feeling than from experience. But, now that I’ve stepped out on the water a little bit, by myself, that statement begins to take more shape.
The grey of my life doesn’t help with clarity, but Who I’m looking at and where my life is headed can trump clarity. The story of my life is being written, with all of the grey and the struggle and the tension and the victory. It’s a better story that way.
I’m still hoping for blue skies and clarity, though. That would be nice.