You focus a lot on loving people and having grace for others.
Try this: have some grace for yourself. Love yourself.
It’s not because of you and it’s not up to you.
God has a lot of love and grace for you, too, not just other people.
Remember, He chose you first.
Don’t forget how much He loves you.
Don’t beat yourself up, and don’t listen to lies.
“You did not choose Me, but I chose you…” (John 15:16)